Alright, gang, I am not going to beat around the bush. Historically speaking, I’ve had an ambivalent relationship with pears.  I have always felt like it’s way too hard to get a decent pear; usually they are mushy, mealy or way too hard.  But seriously, when I have scouted a ripe one, after slurping the pear juice while trying to keep the pear from jumping out of my hands like live trout, I am usually left feeling like, meh, why did I work so hard for a whole-lotta NO flavor?

So, this fall when some friends added pear cognac, actually Belle de Brillet to be specific, to a dangerously yummy drink I was pleasantly surprised!  The drink was delightful and really tasted pear-y.  As a side note Belle de Brillet is some sweetass, tasty nectar that you should totally enjoy. I think there are something like 40 pears crammed into one tiny bottle, but get ready to pay some big $$, as its almost 50 bucks for 750 ml.  Drinking aside, this cognac reminded me that although sometimes hard to find, pears can have a light, delicate flavor that I shouldn’t just write off.  Also, if I am keeping it upfront, which I try to do, I AM a pear!  I’ve got some curve on my lower half…so, why am I such a hater?  OK, so what I am really trying to say is I’m committed to embracing pears in all their curvy, fleshy, round-bottom goodness.

This leads me to a beautiful dessert I made last weekend.  Its from Gourmet, found on epicurious, wait for it….wait….oh yess….Caramelized Upside-Down Pear Tart.  It’s a rustic tart that is literally baked in a frying pan. Baking can’t get much more rustic than that. The recipe instructs you to heat butter and sugar in a large pan, then arrange the halved and cored pears in the pan, sprinkle some cinnamon and wait for the sugar to become all golden, bubbly and perfect!  Then you tuck your round, curvy pears under a pastry dough blanket of sorts, then bake.  After baking, the trickiest part is flipping the tart over, so I did my best by channeling Julia: I strapped on some courage and flipped my tart pretty nicely.

My only comments on this recipe are 1: resist any urges to overspice the pears with cloves, nutmeg and other wintertime flavors, they are perfect simply bathed in butter and sugar, and 2: you may only need to let your pears caramelize for less than 10 minutes, depending on your stove and how well your pan holds heat.

If you enjoy pears, pear shapes or curves in general, take this tart for a spin:

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Carmelized-Upside-Down-Pear-Tart-108779

Good morning, sunshine! It’s Monday, a new week, another chance for a fresh, healthy start.

But, first … more confessions. 1: I have been known to eat ice cream/potato chips/cheese/some combo of the three for dinner. 2. I am a health nut. I know, I am a deeply confused woman. But I really try to pull my crap together sometimes, and this is one of those times (I recycle a New Year’s resolution to eat more fruits and veggies most years). Thus, smoothie time.

If you’re not big smoothie drinker, I highly recommend at least trying smoothies on for size for several reasons. They’re easy, they are super good for you (fiber, antioxidants, calcium, protein) and they are tasty, even for a sweets-scarfing gal like me.

Did I mention easy? You don’t even need a recipe. There are a million out there, and we will surely try some in the future, but I like the kitchen-sink approach following a basic, flexible formula. This makes enough for two nice portions, although I usually drink it all myself in a desperate attempt to offset all those ice cream dinners. Here’s the thinking behind the formula. If you just want the recipe, skip to below.

My base is always a banana. On the riper side is best so the fruit purees very smoothly and contributes sweetness. But any banana that isn’t green will work fine.

Next is yogurt. If plain, I’ll also drizzle in a tablespoon of honey. Silken tofu plus honey is a great replacement to make a vegan drink. If you want an all-fruit smoothie or one that’s a little thinner, skip the yogurt. One note: I often have plain Greek yogurt around. If I’m using that in my smoothie, I drop the quantity to ¼ cup because it is super thick and tangy. If I have conventional yogurt, especially if it’s flavored, I use ½ cup – which is 6 oz., the amount in a single-serving carton.

Frozen fruit: I view ice cubes as wasted space in a smoothie, but I do like a frosty drink, so I use frozen berries. If you disagree, more power to you, although the addition of water in any form will dilute the flavor, so go easy. Whatever you have in the freezer is fine: blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, sliced peaches, cherries, I have used them all. My current fave is 1 cup of raspberries plus 1/3 cup blueberries.

Kitchen-sink stuff: You can stop with bananas, berries, yogurt and juice, or go wild. Recently, I had some leftover cranberry sauce so I added that to a blueberry smoothie. YUM. Sometimes I add half a peach and some fresh ginger to a raspberry smoothie. Plums, pears, anything works. If it gets too thick with the extra stuff, add more juice.

Juice, 1-2 cups: OK, if you’re type-A like the BIK gals, you may wish for a strict recipe, but the amount of juice depends on personal preference. I use 1½ cups. If you like a thick smoothie, use less – just enough juice to make everything come together (it will thin out as the fruit melts). If you want it lighter, add more. I use orange juice because I always have it, but I have also used cranberry cocktail with good results. Mango nectar comes to mind as something I need to get my hands on for smoothie-ing ASAP.

Basic smoothie: serves one to two.

1 ripe banana

¼ to ½ cup yogurt, see above (if using plain, add 1 Tbsp. honey)

1 1/3 cups frozen berries or other fruit chunks such as mango, pineapple or peaches

1 to 2 cups juice (I use 1½ cups orange juice)

Toss everything into a blender and blend until smooth, adding more juice if needed to make drink come together smoothly. Enjoy!

Well, you’ve probably never heard of bitchinkitchen before today (Hi, Mom!), but things have been humming all week at the bitchinkitchen corporate southern headquarters. The whole team is in one place for a week, so we took things way over the top so we could start out with a splash. We’ve made some crazy shit, so strap on your seatbelts, friends. But, let’s ease into our bitchy fellowship, shall we? We’ll start with a little something light.

After a relatively civilized New Years Eve (necessary after an uncivilized start to the week involving wine, cigarettes and trash talk), and sleeping only until 10:45, coffee was the only thing we could stomach after our indulgent late-night dinner.  A few hours into the morning we kicked things off with Poached Pears and Spiced Caramel Sauce, a fragrant but not-too-naughty way to ring in the new year.

So, we think this recipe is pretty flexible. We were too lazy to work hard for cardamom pods called for in the original recipe (the closest grocery store was out), so we changed up the spicing and went with star anise. You could totally skip that. Star anise = not great for the budget. Just add more cinnamon sticks, skip it altogether or whatever you want. Or try some cardamom. Anyway, we also changed up the pear/poaching quantities to suit our needs because poaching liquids are nothing if not flexible. So, experiment it up, and let us know what works.  With the caramel, it may look intimidating if you haven’t made it before, but it’s not hard. The only thing to keep in mind is you need to be careful around the hot, melted sugar. And the longer you cook it, the toastier the sauce will get, but we found that it quickly leaps from toasty to burned. So, although the original recipe suggested cooking it for about 10 min, we say more like five to seven.

Poached Pears and Spiced Caramel Sauce:

Adapted from Gourmet

For pears:

2 oranges

1 lemon, halved

4 cups water

1 cup granulated sugar

4 cups water

2 cinnamon sticks

2 star anise

3-4 firm Anjou pears, firm but ripe*

For caramel:

½ cup granulated sugar

¼ cup brown sugar

1 ½ cups heavy cream

2 cinnamon sticks

3 star anise

4 cloves

*The number of pears really depends on the depth vs. width of your pot. Basically, you just want to put enough in there that they are mostly submerged (although they do float) but your pot is not boiling over. For us, three large or four medium pears worked well in a three-quart pot.

First, poach the pears. Peel zest off oranges with a vegetable peeler, being careful not to cut too deeply into white pith (it’s bitter!) Squeeze juice from oranges into medium pot, ours was three-quarts. Add halved lemon, squeezing juice in if you like. Add 1 cup sugar, 4 cups water and the poaching spices. Peel pears, leaving the stems attached and place them in the liquid. Bring to slow boil, then reduce to simmer for 20 to 30 minutes, turning pears occasionally. Pay attention to their firmness, as this is how you’ll know they’re done. You want to be able to slice through them smoothly with a butter knife, so they should stay nice and pear-shaped (we love a good pear shape), but soften to a nice buttery consistency.

While the pears are enjoying their steamy bath, make the caramel. Spread granulated sugar on the bottom of a saucepan and crumble the brown sugar over the top. Resist the urge to mess with it, the sugar needs to melt here, and leaving it alone is the way to do it. Once the sugar is mostly melted, you can stir it with a fork, wooden spoon or swirl it a bit in the pan until it is completely melted. Be careful here, the sugar is super hot at this point! Slowly pour cream and spices into the pot and enjoy the drama – the sugar will seize up and the cream with bubble and steam. Just go with it, being careful to avoid splatters, and stir until the sugar remelts into a smooth, tawny sauce and reduces a bit, five to seven minutes. It should smell nice and toasty and be a medium brown when it’s finished. Take a look at our pics to see what you’re looking for. Then pour the sauce into a heatproof bowl or other vessel through a sieve and cool to room temp.

To assemble, place pears in a rimmed dish to capture the liquid, and drizzle caramel over the top. You could top with chopped, toasted nuts if you like, but it’s also perfect as is.

For the original recipe- head to epicurious:

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Poached-Pears-with-Spiced-Caramel-Sauce-103207